I caught a glimpse, but it's been forgotten.

When I'd envisioned the end of my senior year, I always thought I'd have mixed emotions. I thought I'd be happy, but that there would be a glint of sadness caught in my mind. I didn't see it this way.

Stress has caught us both, and neither of us perform well under it. But how come being stressed is okay for you? You snap at me, and I let it slide. Because you're stressed, and because I love you. You've been that way for a month... and while it's been getting old, I've known it would pass.

If I'm stressed and snap, it's like I'm the enemy. I am a stranger you've never met, and don't want to get to know. You don't want me in your life, and you aren't afraid to show it. So I quickly adjust, but then the stress just builds up. It's bad in the long run.

You get angry with me, and your anger doesn't cease... you try to ignore me, no matter how much I try to make it better. And then it just ends with you forgetting about it and throwing a smile on, after at least a day or so. But the signals you send are always mixed. You're clearly angry, but you swear you're not. So I drop it, and talk to you. But you don't want anything to do with me.

I can't remember the last time I was mad at you, but I know there have been opportunites for me to become so. I've just let them pass, because even when I try to state that you've done something wrong, it turns into my fault. You, on the other hand, like to inform me of all of my flaws. Sometimes I wonder if my imperfections make you feel better about yourself.

The pedestal you set yourself on, well.. I always thought it was tall. But now I see that it's been crumbling all along. Your foundations are there... but when you don't take care of them, you fall apart completely, and I don't want to be the one to catch you.

You're not who I thought you were, or who you led me to believe you could be. And me, I know I've let you down, because you tell me that I have. How much longer can this last? I can't take this lack of communication. I can't take always being the bad guy. I can't take always feeling like I've let you down, like I'm the one in the wrong. I can't keep apologizing. I can't be made to feel this way. I want to feel loved.. but I don't know how to tell you that. When I try to say things, you tell me that I'm wrong anyways, and that I just have to look at my faults to see where the issue really is. You say that my words are always cutting you down, but do you realize how you're making me feel when you do this?

You pretend that you always think of everyone else. But lately I see that you're selfish.

As long as you're happy, everyone else should be. And if you're not, well... let me have it.

I'm not coming to you this time. You are in the wrong, and I want you to realize that. I want you to know how much you've hurt me, even though you promised you never would. I want to trade you positions, so you can understand how it feels when you do this to me.

I wrote you a letter about how much I love and admire you. There was no thank you, or comment on how much it meant to you.. only a question as to why I wrote it. And if that's all you can say after it, I wonder how much this all really means to you.

So go ahead - think I'm wrong and that I'll come running back to apologize. But be careful, because I'm not making a step towards you. Apologies are far from my mind, and it's you that's going to need to say all of the right words. YOU are the one being judged, and you are the one awaiting your trial.