There's nothing here that you'll miss.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way--months. It was silly for me to believe life would continue to be good.
Believing is just silly, and things aren’t worth believing in anymore.
I just want to know the truth. About everything, and be able to smile, and know. But I can’t know anything if the truth isn’t there... and a smile’s the furthest thing from my lips.
Certainty has a way of evading me... but sadness and insecurity are always there to fill its void.

I feel different, but you can’t even tell. I want you to notice.
Notice me.
That’s all I want.
Tell me that I’m different, and understand why.
I just want you to help me understand myself.
You could help me make things better, if only you’d notice.

But even if you notice, I know you won’t understand.
And you won’t want to hear the things I have to say.
You’ve never wanted to hear these words.

Why does it always feel like happiness can only come at a cost?